Why us?

Okay, I have been meaning to write about this for quite some time... From the time when we realised that we were having twins, actually...

Those of you who read my earlier posts would know that it was only at the 2nd gynae visit that we realised we were carrying twins. Thus is was really quite a surprise for us. It was a pleasant surprise though, for it has always been a dream of mine to have twins.

Even back then before we were pregnant with Isaac, hubbs and I would talk about kids, and we would fantasize "If only we can have twins, then pop pop two babies at one go! steady!" Then we became pregnant with Isaac. No, we weren't disappointed that it was a singleton and not twins, we were just happy to be pregnant at all - we had been trying for some time.

And when Isaac was born, boy were we glad we only had one baby! It's no joke being first time parents - we can't imagine how tough it must be for first time mums to have twins! (Kudos to Clarine!!!)

This dream of having twins is a dream many couples have. But it's like an "impossible dream", a "it'd never happen to me dream". One talks about having twins and triplets "if only I can have twins!" in the same way they'd say "If only I can strike 1st prize lottery this weekend!" or "If only I can marry a handsome and rich prince and live happily ever after" or "If only I can marry the prettiest and sexiest woman in the world!" It's like "yeah, right, it'd never happen to me!"

But it DID happen to us! The twins that is. Woah, what a rush it gave us when we first found out we were carrying twins. It was even better than striking 1st prize in lottery! hubbs and I would sometimes just daze and gaze off into the distance just thinking about it.

We had conceived the twins naturally, so the chances of it happening was pretty slim. So I kept thinking: "Why us?" It's like, why were WE, out of so many other couples, chosen to be parents of twins? We felt very very blessed indeed.

So in true pammie fashion, I started thinking of all the possible reasons of why WE were chosen to be parents of twins...

WE HAVE GOOD KARMA!
You know the song Something Good from the Sound of Music. There's this stanza that goes:

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

So maybe we had good karma, so good begets good, so here we get a double dosage of good - twins! Seriously, during my first trimester, I was constantly subconsciously singing this song in my head!

WE'RE GOOD PARENTS TO ISAAC!
Then I thought, maybe God thinks that we're doing a pretty good job with Isaac, and so he decided to we could handle twins!

DELAYED RESPONSE FROM GOD
Another frequently asked question we always get is "How did you do it?!" - well the person/people who asked were obviously not asking about how the sex act was done, but how did we get twins? Which I thought was quite a silly question coz, wah liao, how I know?! Chance lah! But then, I can't be rude, right? (So rude!) So, I usually reply "Oh, pray lor. Hahahaha..."

Then someone asked "Really? You prayed for twins and you got it?" Frankly, I can't recall who it was who said this, but I recall the expression on the person's face - like it was the model answer to a very tough exam question - like, all you had to do is pray for twins and you'd get it.

Then I thought about it. "Actually, no, we didn't pray for twins." (The person's face fell, when I said this.) Yeah, well, we didn't. Not before this 2nd pregnancy anyway. We were just praying very hard to get pregnant, but we didn't pray to have twins.

But I do recall that before we got pregnant with Isaac, we may have frivolously prayed to have twins. So, that could be another reason why we have twins... God was behind in clearing his prayer-emails and answered our prayer a tad late... :p

FOUR KIDS BY 35
Or perhaps it was this other prayer! We had always wanted to have 4 kids - eventually, not all at once! And I had always hoped that I can deliver all 4 kids by the time I hit the age of 35. Ambitious, I know, but since I got married at age 27, it technically is possible to have all 4 kids by age 35.

But by the time we had Isaac, I was 29. By the time Isaac hit 2, we were frantically (almost!) trying to get pregnant coz we didn't want the age gap between the kids to be too big. I had almost resigned myself to the fact that it would be quite improbable for me to have all 4 kids by 35 years old. 3 kids perhaps, but certainly not 4.

But then, with the twins, we now already have 3 kids - with me turning 31 this year. So, technically, even if we wait 3 or 4 years, I could have the 4th kid on my 35th year! Wow! Just in time!

SAVE MONEY
Then again, maybe it was this OTHER prayer... (hahaha yes we pray for everything!) It was becoming apparent to us that bringing up kids was very costly. Not just with gynae and delivery fees, cot/stroller and other baby-fixtures, clothes, diapers, food, but also child care or school fees, enrichment/tuition classes, university fees... endless!

We were starting to think that maybe we couldn't afford to have as many as 4 kids. So, we thought to ourselves, we'd have one at a time, and see how it goes. With each additional kid, we'd see if we can handle them and afford them, before deciding whether to have the next kid. We were especially thinking about the finances, and so started to pray (frivolously again) to God for us to strike 1st prize lottery. hahaha...

Of course, we know, it is not impossible to afford 4 kids, it's just the standard of living that we have to adjust that's all. But I'm sure everyone prays the "4D/Toto prayer" at some point in time. "Let me strike, please! Let me strike! 1st prize! One time can already! Strike big big! Please please!"

So, my theory is... God had too many of such "Let me strike 1st prize!" prayers on his hand already. There's only so many he can grant, right? But being the great being He is, instead of giving us money to spend, He decided to help us save money! He gave us twins!!!

You see, with twins, there kinda is economy of scales. Like our gynae didn't charge more - we only paid for the elective c-section. Even if there was an increase in fees - like the 5th month detailed scan by the hospital sonographer, it wasn't double the price, but only like 20% more than the scan costs for singleton. Only certain things we had to pay double, like for 2 beds in the nursery, and the paediatrician charges for each kid separately.

For future costs, I figured, assuming that inflation exists, cost of everything is alwasy increasing. Thus, even paying double for something now, would definitely still be cheaper than paying for 1 kid now and MORE for the next kid a few years down the road (assuming it was one kid after the other instead of twins - two at the same time).

Thus, by giving us twins, God didn't have to grant us the 1st prize prayer... He very smart ah!!!

SLIM SLIM ME!
Though lately, I am thinking it's this fervent prayer of mine! I have been praying to God to please let me slim down after this pregnancy. With Isaac's pregnancy, I never got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, much less my idea weight level which happens to be the weight I was on my wedding day - 50kg. HAHAHAHA... This time, I am aiming to be a svelte 49kg by the time I go back to work.

Don't know if it'd happen, but it can't hurt to try, eh! hahaha...

I was 60 kg just before I got pregnant with Isaac. I gained 21 kg and was a whopping 81kg just as I entered the delivery ward. After that, I hovered around 66 to 67kg post-pregnancy... Just before I got pregnant with the twins, I gained a bit of weight and was about 70kg when we made our first gynae visit. This time round, I only gained about 13 to 15kg - think I was about 84kg just before I delivered. So, even though I gained less than with Isaac, I was heavier to start out with, so I ended up at about the same weight when I delivered.

Just went to weigh myself... now, at about 7 weeks after delivery... I'm tipping the scales at 65kg! yay! Not too bad eh!? Family and friends who saw me recently also commented that this time round I dropped the kilos much faster.

Wait, before you start to 'scold' me, I must first qualify that I haven't been starving myself, nor going on any fad diet. I've been eating pretty normally. In fact, have been eating quite a few new year tarts and kueh kueh in the past week :p Must cut down on that after this week... kekeke...

So, it seems like it's taking care of the twins, and breastfeeding them both fully, that's making the kilos drop off faster this time round, I suppose. kekeke... fine with me!!! So I figured, God must have been so sick and tired of hearing me nag him about losing weight, that he sent me a pair of twins! Like "There you go! Twins for you! Now stop nagging me about your weight loss!" hahahaha...

Oh wait, I have to tell you about this friend of mine - Yin Horng. She's one steady mother. She was 42kg before being pregnant. 55kg at full term. Delivered a 4.20kg baby, and 2 weeks later, she was 44kgand could still fit into XS tops! Steady, right?!

PamMI Pte Ltd (PamMI - Pamela Milk Industries)
Speaking of milk... As you guys might already know, I have lotsa milk. kekeke... yes, my supply is plentiful (Thank God!!!) but even with Isaac it was so. Back then, I recall even saying it, that coz I fed Isaac and pumped the other side at the same time, I was technically able to feed twins. I actually said that.

And now I have twins to feed!!! It is most gratifying to see my milk being drunk, rather than being frozen. I still have surplus to freeze now, but it not a lot, perhaps a pack of 150ml a day to freeze. Most of the rest of the EBM (expressed breast milk) is being drunk by the twins. I say "most" coz, not all is drunk. Sometimes they are too full from drinking from me (they latch on), that we can't "top them up" any further. So the milk gets wasted - coz we can't warm it and keep it out for too long.

Last week, we brought the kidzes to the paediatrician, and guess what are ther weights?
Isaac - 13 kg @ 2 years 7 and a half months (3.220kg at birth)
Asher - 5.1kg @ 6 weeks (2.770kg at birth)
Shawna - 4.6kg @ 6 weeks (2.815kg at birth)

Not bad eh?! :)

CONCLUSION
So... what is the conclusion? I dunno. Maybe it's really just chance. Probability. We kenna twins. That's just it. No reason. But nah, I think it's probably ALL OF THE ABOVE!!! hahahhahaa... But whatever the case is, we're really thankful for this great blessing. Thanks for choosing us, God!!!

Gross you out!

hahaha! This Monday morning, I am going to gross you out!!! Why?!?! Coz I can!!! hahahaha... Well, you've seen my humongous tummy pre-delivery of the kidzes. Well, here's my tummy approximately 2 weeks after the delivery...
Looks like a volcano crater, doesn't it?! upon closer inspection, it's really as though my skin's like the earth's crust that split in a shift of the fault lines. hahaha...

My tummy was really hard to live with after the delivery - it was flopping around like a balloon filled with water. My tummy muscles felt very sore and flopped-around. The hospital issued a tummy binder that was supposed to help hold my floppy tummy in place, but guess my tummy was so huge that the binder didn't make as much difference as it should have.
On the day I was discharged from hospital, we bought another tummy binder from the hospital and I wore both together. Thus, all the way from just below my wound (at the bikini line) to just below my busts, I would have to wear the 2 tummy binders.

I'd never thought I'd say this, but I felt so much better with the 2 tummy binders holding my tummy in place - in my body, where they belong, instead of hanging out like a saggy balloony thingy. So two weeks on, we have this crater like thing which we thought was quite incredible - that the human skin could stretch and contract like that. I only hope that it continues to improve and I end up with a decent tummy!

pix taken on 23rd January 2009

The babies! The babies!

Okay so I am finally going to finish this post. Have been taking ages to get it done. Firstly, the first week after delivery and back home was kinda tough for me. Secondly, I can only get anything done on the computer when Isaac isn't home - which is only like 2 hours a day, and the kidzes drink during that time sometimes, so have been really strapped for time on the computer. I miss my blog. Really wanted to catch up on the Chronicles of Isaac before embarking on the second chapter: The Emergence of the Twins: Asher & Shawna.

So, I finally got round to taking this picture below. They've been sticking around (kekeke pun intended) the bathroom for ages. Decided to finally take the pic, and throw them away. So these were what started it all. We were trying for a baby, and Dr Ang told us to use the ovulation sticks this time round.

Basically, I have to count the days after my menses, and pee on the ovulation stick till I get a positive - which in the case of the sticks we bought (the one above, in the pic below), it's 2 lines. So, finally we got the two lines, and quickly got into action.Then there is the other stick - the pregnancy test kit stick. kekeke... You see, the last time with Isaac we took a picture of the pregnancy test positive - so this time also... must be fair, right? As best as we can! :)
So roughly 33 weeks after the pregnancy test kit went positive... after completing 37 weeks of pregnancy... this is how I looked like, the night before we went into hospital to do our selective c-section to have the kidzes taken out.
Look at the huge melon I was carrying. I measured my waistline (to satisfy PT's question coz I was sure she would defnitely ask me about it) it was 52 inches. I am happy to say that I only have a 52 inch waist coz I am like PREGNANT and with twins to boot. Gosh I pray and hope that I will never again have a 52 inch waist (or anywhere near that!) - unless I am pregnant with a multiple birth again. Yes, I'd much rather be pregnant with a multiple birth again than to ever have a 52 inch waist again. HAHAHHA...
Now I look at the pictures, I don't think I look very big. I mean, yes, it's huge, but - they're twins in there what, right? But then maybe I got used to seeing myself like that. I do recall feeling very very heavy though. Was having trouble walking, standing, moving, actually, by that time.
Look at the big bolla. hahahaa... I couldn't even stand long enough to take a few more pix. I had to sit. It came to be that where there were no chairs, I had stools all around the house for me to sit. There was a plastic one in the toilet for me to sit and bathe. Another one here at the wardrobe for me to sit and wear my clothes. And when I wanted to search for something in the kitchen cabinets, I lugged a stool in there for me to sit on as well...I had orignally (like when I first got pregnant and knew it was twins) wanted to go all the way to 38 weeks, if I could. But by the time I was at 34 weeks, it was such a strain, that now I know that Dr Ang was wise to have suggested 37 weeks to deliver. She said:"37 weeks for twins is very good already - don't tempt fate! Especially since they're already at a good size..." For at 34 weeks, the twins were at about 2.5kg each already. which I suppose was already a good size for twins.

Also, since Shawna was breeched (head-up, instead of head-down), it was clear that it was going to be a ceasarean right from the start. No argument about that. Well, Dr Ang said most multiples were delivered via c-section anyway, as it was safer, and had less complications that way. I was all for the "less complications" so I didn't insist otherwise.
Still, up till the end of the 37th week, I was still sitting on the floor to play with Isaac. And I could do most things he wanted me to. I couldn't carry him while I was standing. But I could sit, and carry him onto my lap. I could swing him from his pram down to the floor, when we wanted me to take him out of it. I could get up fine from the floor, or from our 'platform bed' which was essentially a mattress on the floor... I was still kinda... agile, as Dr Ang liked to put it.
All thanks to my darling Isaac :) He's what made me more fit this pregnancy, I feel. Better than the 3 times a week 15 laps that I used to swim when I was pregnant with him! hahahaa... So coz of this, I put on a mere 12kg for this pregnancy - compared to the 21kg I put on for Isaac. Though, I am 10kg heavier to begin with this time round. So ironically, I am back at the same weight (more or less) at the time of delivery! hahahaha...This here above is me before the op. The op was scheduled at 8am, but we had to 'check in' by 6am. We got there by about 6.30am and the nurses quickly had me preped for the op. I got dressed in one of the wards, they made me bathe with some special antiseptic soap or something. Inserted a catheter into me. And wheeled me to the operating theatre itself. I had to be separated from hubbs at the door, where they'd told him to wait. Guess they had to give him his togs below and prepare him as well.
This above is hubbs before he entered the operating theatre. I opted for local anaesthesia (epidural), which is why hubbs could go in. But I was pretty knocked out by the epidural, and was for the most part barely conscious of anything at all after the epidural kicked in.

Before I was knocked out by the epidural, it struck me how scary an operating theatre really looked, with the lights and equipment and all. Not at all like the delivery room in which we delivered Isaac. That was nice and cosy, had a tv for hubbs and we could bring our own CD player to play music which we waited for me to dilate enough to deliver Isaac.

Hubbs too, was kinda disappointed with the process as he did not get to cheer and egg me on as he did with Isaac's natural birth. In fact, he was told to "sit down" the moment he entered the operating theatre. Also, they started the op before he went into the theatre, so he had just entered for only a few minutes and the kidzes were born already. Compared to the 15 hours labour we went through with Isaac, this time round was certainly very different!
There! The kidzes!!! Officially known as Room 328 Twin 1 and Room 328 Twin 2, at the hospital. hahaha... Twin 1 is Asher, the boy, who came out a minute before his sister. It was naturally him that came out first as he was head down, and his head was near the "exit" kekeke... Shawna, the girl, was head up (her head was roughly at my right rib cage there), and so came out later.
So guess who's Asher and who's Shawna? :) Do they look alike to you? Or can you tell the difference? Well, Asher's the one with all the white goo still on his face and body. Shawna came out incredibly 'clean'. This pregnancy, I only managed to drink one coconut. The night before we checked in, I desperately wanted to drink another coconut.

But it was too late by the time hubbs came back from work, and all our usual coconut haunts were closed. "You see lah!" I told hubbs "if we'd managed to find another coconut last night - Asher would be as clean as Shawna!" hahahha... It's this old wives tale that drinking fresh coconut juice nearing delivery date (36 weeks onwards) would clear the vernix (the whitish substance on Asher. It serves to protect the baby's delicate skin from the amniotic fluid. Every baby has it but some shed it before being born and some don't) from the baby.
There, the kidzes below after they've been cleaned up in the nursery. Can you tell Asher from Shawna? Asher came out a minute earlier, but slightly lighter at 2.770kg. Shawna was 2.815kg at birth. Pretty decent for twins, everyone says. I was hoping for 3kg apiece, but 2.8kg's good too. Good job, kidzes!!! :)
Yes, for those of you who 'cheated', you can see the blue card for the baby on the left, which is Asher, and the pink card for the baby on the right, which is Shawna.
Asher (above) and Shawna (below) look quite different. Almost immediately, hubbs and I did not have any problem telling them apart. Asher looked like a miniature hubbs. He had less hair on the top, and had a nose like hubbs - one with higher nose bridge than Shawna's. Shawna, on the other hand, looked like Isaac when Isaac was born. She had more hair on top than Asher, a lower nose bridge (MIL says her nose like mine, Asher's nicer nose is like hubbs' she says :p), a bit of a protruding forehead (like mine and Isaac's!), and her eyes were more deepset.

Both the kidzes have double-eyelids, which the confinement nanny says is quite rare for babies to surface the double eyelids at such an early stage - so, she says it means that the double eyelids will be very 'deep'. I have double eyelids but hubbs doesn't. Isaac has them - but they're "internal" and hence it looks as though he doesn't have double eyelids.

Oh Asher has dimples! But the rest of us doesn't have any!He must have inherited them from my cellulite... KIDDING! hahahahhaa...
Here's hubbs pushing the babies to the room, with Isaac the big kor kor helping him :) Isaac has been taking to the babies well. He would always 'sayang' their head, though we have to be careful with him around coz he can unknowingly be rough with the kidzes, like using too much strength to stroke the kidz' heads or doing somersaults on the bed when the kidzes are there.
However, since we came home from the hospital, Isaac has been refusing to go to school. We never used to have this problem other than the time when he first started the school. So the only conclusion is - it must be coz of the kidzes. Every morning for the past 2 weeks, Isaac'd refuse to wear his uniform and keep cryin that he doesn't want to go to school. But once he gets to school, he's fine. Everyday hubbs would ask him if he has had fun in school that day ("Wenyuan, jing1 tian1 xue2 xiao4 hao3 bu4 hao3 wan2?) And he would always reply that it was fun ("hao3 wan2"). So hubbs would ask him if he wants to attend school the next day, to which Isaac would reply and say yes, he'd go to school the next day. But come the next day... he would refuse to go to school again.
I'd always been fond of teling Isaac that I loved him. I believe in subliminal messaging - I told him that I loved him even while he was asleep. But I also believe in direct messaging hahahhaa... I would tell that to him even when he was awake. However, since I got pregnant, I stepped up telling Isaac that hubbs and I love him very much. I would repeat it over and over again, and tell him that I would love Asher and Shawna, but I would still continue to love him.
And in the past week, I did this even more and more, and I would hold him and hug him many more times than before (which was already a lot!). And I would carry him in my arms on my lap, just like how I would cradle the babies. I would call him my Big Baby, and told him that I loved him very much, and more and more each day.

We had a breakthrough 2 days ago, when he finally agreed to wear his uniform and go to school. There was a sort of regression yesterday where he protested again, but this morning, he again agreed to dress in his uniform and go to school. We hope this continues to get better!
This is Natalie - my youngest niece, she is 3 months younger than Isaac. She's also one of Isaac's favourite playmate. Of course, they fight and snatch things with one another as well. but by and large Natalie loves Isaac and talks about him all the time when he's not around, and so does Isaac now. Natalie is also hubbs and mine God-daughter :) My mum jokes that if we go out with Isaac and Natalie, Asher and Shawna - people'd think we have 2 sets of twins!
Come... test you again, which above is Asher and which is Shawna? No peeking below before making your guess!!!
This is Shawna (one on the right)... :) And Asher's the one below (the one on the left). In my stomach, Asher was on my left and Shawna on my right as well.
These few pix were taken in hospital. They were lying on my lap. after I had breastfed them. And yes, I can breastfeed them at the same time! hehehe... They are lying in this position coz I'd just breastfed them in a double football hold position.
There! That's us in action! My mum, whom I recall being all concerned about my modesty when I breastfed during Isaac's time, still is concerned this time. But I can tell she has relaxed her standards since she exclaimed "What a great t-shirt this is!" Which were my thoughts exactly, coz I wasn't exactly without modesty you know. Even though I thought those 52 inch tummy pix of mine looked cool, but my mum kept on going "Ah yoh! No shame!!!" when she saw them.

The tee is a nursing wear tee - but not all nursing wear is suitable for tandem nursing (nursing two babies at the same time). This one's perfect. The next night, I ordered 4 more pieces of this tee online. hahaha... I figured I'd be in them for quite awhile.
I used to think that a double football hold was the only way to breastfeed twins. But I was wrong. See below - it is me bf-ing Asher and Shawna with Asher (left/top) in a cradle hold, and Shawna (right/bottom) in a football hold.
It was Sister Kang, the lactation consultant from Mt Alvernia that taught me how to do the above. We had gone to see Sister Kang when we brought the kidzes to the paediatrician for their follow-up checkup 6 days after they were born. I was suffering from blocked ducts you see, and really needed Sister to help me clear them. I was in shear agony. [Guess who's that below?]
[Shawna!] Even though I had more than 2 years of breastfeeding experience with Isaac, starting to breastfeed again this time round (after weaning off Isaac completely a few months ago) has been nothing short of hellish for me. Perhaps coz I still remembered vividly what had taken place when I started to breastfeed Isaac 2 and a half years ago. The memory of the pain was enough to strike fear into my heart and bring tears into my eyes. I kid you not. [Who, below?]
[Asher!!!] Firstly, I had sore nipples from the kidzes not latching properly. They did not know how to open their mouths wide enough to take in both the nipple and part of the areola. Resulting in sore nipples for mummy me. And because they didn't take in the areola, they had trouble getting the milk out. Also, I think I had blocked ducts, which wasn't alleviated by incorrect suckling. So, the milk was all stuck inside!!! [Who's who?]
[Asher left, Shawna right!!!] Urgghh. So, I tried to pump out the milk. And guess what??? Classic, really classic - the same thing happened as what did the last time with Isaac - my pumping caused my already sore nipples, to bleed! Fantastic, strawberry milk within the first week of birth. Not good.

My neighbour Angie, has a good analogy to explain what sore nipples felt like to people who don't know (especially men) - she said:" It's like having a huge blister from wearing a new pair of shoes, but you still have to continue to wear this pair of shoes - and no plaster for your blister!" how apt a description, I thought! [Who's who, below? Surely, you should have gotten it by now...]
[Shawna left, Asher right!!!] On top of sore and bleeding nipples, I had blocked ducts and hence engorged breasts! OH the pain of it. I was not only in pain, but in fear. I was in pain from the engorged breasts, and in fear that the pain would worsen, for I had known it before - during Isaac's time! For even though I was in pain, I knew that it was only about half as bad as it was during Isaac's time. I knew I should be glad for small favours like that, but when you're in pain, you don't really think logically, you know. [Below???]
[Asher left, Shawna right!!!] To top everything off, I had cramps in my tummy from my womb contracting when the kidzes suckle. The pain is like labour pain, and there was no epidural this time. Dr Ang says I should be glad, that my womb is contracting - this way, she said, I'd get back my shape sooner. Trying to concentrate on this silver lining, I couldn't help but pray to God if I could still have the womb contracting without all this pain. The next day, the pain stopped. I wondered if God answered my prayer, or whether my womb had stopped contracting. The latter was too depressing a thought to entertain, so I think God answered my prayers. He always does, usually :) [Last test... for this post...]

[Shawna on left of picture, Asher on the right!] Well, I am glad to say the worst is over. My saviour was Sister Kang, who after administering a few short minutes of pure manual torture, massaged the blocked ducts out of the way. From that moment on, the milk could flow and the pain slowly went away. What a great vocation she is in, I thought to myself - her work literally enables pain to be taken away!pix taken between 6th January 2010 and 20th January 2010
Isaac @ 2 and a half years old
Asher @ 2 weeks old
Shawna @ 2 weeks old

So today, I am fine, we're fine. We stopped supplementing the kidzes with formula milk a week after they're born - a day after my visit to Sister Kang. Thus, the kidzes have been fully breastfed by my milk for more than a week now. And I still have surplus to freeze! Hahahaha... though not as much as I did before with Isaac. But that's fine with me, I rather my milk is drunk rather than frozen.

So once again, after a rocky start, I'm back on The Milk Trial. Hehehehe... PamMI is back in action!

Tummy big big :)

Lots of you have been asking me for pix of how big my stomach is now. Well here it is :) This is a very recent pic of me - on 26th Dec 2009 - at Cel's wedding :) 26th Dec would put me (us!) at about 35 weeks plus. 31st Dec is end of our 36th Week.And here's what Hweech is pointing at... two babies in the tummy! hahahaha... The picture below, though, is just an illustration from BabyCenter.com - of how fraternal twins look like in the stomach at Week 36.

Technically speaking, Asher and Shawna wouldn't look like that though - coz we know from recent scans that one of them is breech - head up. Not sure which one, we suspect it's Shawna.
We had a bit of a scare today. I've been having difficulty breathing for awhile now, and heart palpitations are a common occurence for me everyday. But this morning, it went on for a much longer stretch of time, and I almost passed out.

So we got kinda worried and called Dr Ang. Hubbs manually took my pulse rate and it turns out that it was about 120. And this was when it had come down a little already. So Dr Ang told us to go to a GP to get an ECG done. My usual GP didn't do ECGs, so in the end, we went to Mt Alvernia A&E dept to get the ECG done. Just in case I needed to deliver, I could just get admitted.

ECG's some kind of test to check my heart rate and all. Basically, my heart's under a lot of stress coz it has to support 3 hearts in all. Dr Ang is afraid I'd get a cardiac arrest - i.e. my heart cannot take it anymore.

Went in to Mt A at about 12noon , heart rate was 107. Doc conferred with Dr Ang. Yadda yadda yadda... Then was told to rest awhile and test again. It came down to 95. By the time we left the hospital was almost 4pm.

Conclusion is that I have to stay off all caffeinated stuff, and take it easy - which includes not getting emotional and all - anything which will cause my heart to beat faster... if I were to last the year out...

Well, seems like Asher & Shawna may want out earlier than the 6th Jan 2010 c-section date we'd chosen for them. Been telling them that we just want them to be born in January and not December, so hopefully they'd listen to us.

But we'd see how it goes. If they want out, they'd get out. As long as we all make it through safe and sound :) we're happy whenever they want out. Pray for us and wish us luck! :)

Progress of the twins

I was just thinking of the twins' pregnancy update post I did a week plus back, and realised it was just that - an update of my pregnancy, and all my complains about my physical condition. I'd forgotten to update on the progress of the twins themselves.

Well, despite all my complains about the aches and pains and numbness, I'm happy to announce that the twins have been growing very well - which was why I was plagued with all those complaints - coz the twins were gaining weight well.

So I must say, overall, I am very pleased that they are growing well. What's a bit of aching so long as they grow well, right? :)

The twins have always been of a pretty good weight. All along, they are roughly the size of what a singleton would be should I have been carrying one only. In other words, I literally had 2 singletons in me.

Let me try and roughly outline their weight growth. Dates are gynae visit dates, and week is approx week of pregnancy at the time of gynae visit.

25th week (13th Oct 09) - Est weight approx 700 g each
29th week (10th Nov 09) - Est weight approx 1.4 kg each
32th week (1st Dec 09) - Est weight 1.5 kg and 1.8 kg
34th week (18th Dec 09) - Est weight 2.4 kg and 2.5 kg

At the week 25 visit, Dr Ang was like saying in a negative tone that the weights of the babies are both the size of a singleton each. We were confused by the negative tone and said:"But it's good that they are growing well, right?" She was like:"Yes, but I am afriad if they continue growing at that rate, your body would not be able to take it, and your body will want to deliver early!" Well, in other words, I think she's afraid I'd burst. hahahaha...

According to www.babycenter.com, at 34 weeks, a singleton would weigh about 4 and three quarters of a pound (approx 2.15kg). And the twins are already estimated at 2.4 kg and 2.5kg - woah! they're bigger than singletons at that stage in pregnancy!

Well it certainly is a relief to know that they should be well over 2 kg each now - coz we just found out that so long as the babies are above 2 kg each at birth, they don't have to stay in ICU. phew!

So I would say the kids have been very well behaved - I have been telling them to grow well and their mummy me, would just hold them all. Though of late, I have been telling them to talk to my body and make sure my body can hold them. Hahaha...

All along I have been telling them that we shall aim for 3 kg for each of them. That would be a good weight, yah? But dunno if my body can take it. Well, we only have about 3 weeks to go before our scheduled c-section date of 6th Jan 2010 which signals the end of 37th week. So, keep us in your prayers, and pray that I don't burst before that, yah?! :)

Twins' pregnancy update!!!

Time for an update!!! Know it’s been some time since I updated on my pregnancy – so this would be a loooong one. Have been very busy trying to clear work so that I could rest at home or at the very least, work from home, you see.

Dr Ang my gynae has been clamouring for me to stay home since I was in Week 25. At our last visit on 1st Dec 2009 which would have me at week 32 by the end of the week, she absolutely insisted on putting me on home rest immediatelywhen she realized I still wasn’t resting at home yet. She wanted me to last till the end of this month, which would have us complete our 36th week, and said that after that, if I wanted to go back to work, I could! Hahaha…

Well, in other words, she is saying that she would let me deliver if my body wanted to (that is, if I go into labour) after I completed the 36th Week. Anytime before that, she would give me injections to stop the labour from proceeding, if possible.

Also, from 1st Dec onwards, she put me on medication to stop premature contractions, if I was having any. Interestingly, it was a small little purple Salbutamol tablet that I had to take once a day, every morning. Interesting because we were very familiar with this medicine – it was Isaac’s medicine that the paediatrician would prescribe him every time he has a cough! Hahaha…

I was to take the tablets once a day in the morning, and warned that it would cause me heart palpitations. And if I did have contractions, I was to take one tablet every 4 hours or so. Wow. That would cause me lots of heart palpitations, that’s for sure, I thought! As if it wasn’t bad enough already.

This third trimester has been very trying for me. As I mentioned earlier, by second trimester this time round, I’d already felt like it was my third trimester of when I had Isaac. Now, in my third trimester for the twins, I feel like I am due anytime.

I feel so heavy all the time. With everyday that passes, I have more and more difficulty walking. So, I am walking slower and slower everyday. The weight is one thing. Then the crotch hurts, back hurts. When I get up from being seated for some time, I would have to start walking very slowly, and gradually gain momentum to walk at a slightly faster speed.

My colleagues have been very sweet and considerate to me. Carefully overtaking me by the side, holding open doors for me, letting me sit when there are limited seats in meetings, and always offering me the front seat in the car when we all squeeze in one car to go out for lunch. Though, I have to be careful myself now, and have taken to “checking for traffic” whenever I come to a “cross junction” in office that I have to cross. People walking in a rush now are a big hazard to me, for any slightest brush against me could throw me off balance.

Walking short distances now leave me quite breathless and my heart palpitating. It didn’t used to be so bad – I could walk for longer distances without getting exhausted, albeit very slowly indeed. But now, even walking from my bedroom to my living room, could make my heart gallop.

Or shall I say, my three hearts. Dr Ang says that how fast my heart beats, affects the kids’ hearts. Sometimes I worry if I make their hearts work harder than necessary since this heart palpitating business has been increasing in frequency by the day. At times when my heart is beating very fast, I place my hand on my tummy, and I think I can feel the kids’ hearts beating as quickly too.

Speaking of which, in recent days, I realized that sometimes, my heart would start palpitating even when I was seated. Not sure why. Is it because of the medication? Or is it coz I was sitting on some vein and hence restricting blood flow to my heart again? Or what? I don’t know, but it’s quite irritating.

Which brings me to my biggest complain – I can’t breathe! My heart keeps going bom bom bom, and I can’t find a comfortable position to place myself. Especially when I am sleeping, or rather, trying to sleep! Whether I am on my back, or on either side, I would be crushing some vein or the other and restricting blood flowing to or from my heart. I get breathless, and my arms and hands go numb.

Dr Ang looks at me sympathetically and tells me to sleep sitting upright, or at least inclined. Sighz. So it has come to be, that for the first few hours of the night, when I am exhausted, I would sleep lying down and be partially breathless, enduring numb limbs. Then when I can no longer ignore bring breathless and my numb limbs, the next few hours would usually be spent sleeping in an inclined position, which helps the breathing a lot, and the numb limbs not so much – but isn’t as ‘restful’ as sleep flat. Ah well.

Oh yeah, my tummy’s huge. Since I started my third trimester, strangers or people not familiar with my due date, have all asked me if I am “giving birth soon” or ‘due anytime”? And all their eyes widen in surprise/terror when I say I have a few more months to go – till January 2010. Until that is, I tell them I am having twins. Then they all go “Oh no wonder you’re HUGE!”

My colleague Pei Teng kept urging me to take measurement of my waistline, like a month or so ago. It was 45 inches then. “I bet you could hit 50 inches by the time you deliver!” she exclaimed. I just measured – and I’m 48 inches now. Guess she’s about right. Geez, 50 inches. I’m praying that with the 3 kids that I’d have to take care of in a month’s time, I better lose a lot of weight by the time I go back to work. I’m aiming for a svelte 49kg when I am back at work. Wish me luck, or best – pray for me! Don’t laugh! Stop laughing, you!!!

So, we have set the caesarian date already. Yes, we’re c-sectioning… coz one of the kids is head up – breech. But anyway, Dr Ang says that even if both are head down, if and when one comes out via natural birth, the other one can still turn upside down, and then we’d need an emergency c-section. And in any case, for twins, it is definitely less risky to go c-section than by natural birth. And anyway one is breech now. So, that’s that.

So, the big date is 6th January 2010. That week would put us at 37 Weeks, which is very good for carrying twins already. Isaac was born on the 6th as well (but in August), so that’d be nice, to have all of them born on the 6th.

Okay, that's all for now, hope you didn't nod off while reading this post. Hahaha... Well... stay tuned!!!

Surprise!!! Dragon Phoenix Twins!!!

Guess what?! kekeke... you know how I told you guys that the twins were identical twins, and so we were expecting two girls? hehehe... well, they're not! Apparently, they're fraternal twins, and a boy and a girl! :)

Hahahaha... this pregnancy has been full of surprises for us. For the first 5 visits to the gynae, we had a surprise at each visit. This is how the timeline went:

4 weeks
We tested positive on the home pregnancy test kit. Yay! But we didn't go see gynae yet, coz we know if you go to the gynae too early - baby still too small, can't see anything on the scan! So should wait for a few more weeks, don't waste money kekke...

7 weeks - 1st gynae visit
Dr Ang could identify one baby on the screen. We saw its heart beating, and heard the heartbeat. "Congrats! You're pregnant!" yay!!!

11 weeks - 2nd gynae visit
Dr Ang slathered on the gel and started scanning my tummy and... "Pamela! You're having twins!!!" We could clearly see two babies on the screen, each in their own amniotic sacs. It was without a doubt, twins! Dr Ang could only identify one placenta though, hence her conclusion that this was a set of identical twins - i.e. twins that split from one fertilised egg (hence only one placenta).

16 weeks - 3rd gynae visit
Dr Ang says that we should be able to see the gender of the babies during this visit. She scanned around the babies, and only managed to see the gender of one of the babies - a girl. However, since we thought that the twins were identical twins, so it was assumed that it was a pair of girls.

21 weeks - 4th gynae visit (plus detailed scan before that)
We had our 5th month detailed scan on the same day at the hospital wing, before our gynae visit. We had a great time, as this time (compared to the detailed scan during Isaac's time), the machines seemed much better in the sense that they provided very clear pictures of the babies. We could see the different parts of their bodies etc. Previously with Isaac, it was difficult to make out what was what. Technology has improved!

The sonographer (the professional scanner person) was scanning around and said at one point "Ah, you know the gender of your babies already?" hubbs and I looked at each other and I said "Er, yah... they're supposedly 2 girls..." "Oh?" said the sonographer. hubbs and I glanced at each other and started laughing "Why?" I said "Now got boy ah? hahaha..." Somehow, we were kinda used to having surprises in this pregnancy that we weren't all that surprised to hear that - "Yah! I can see one boy and one girl here!" the sonographer said.

Still laughing away, hubbs said "Sure or not? Can confirm?" The sonopragher frowned, perplexed that our doctor's diagnosis is different from hers when she could clearly see "The penis - you see here." Yes, we could see, very clearly indeed. After 'taking a picture' of the penis, she proceeded to show us the 'hamburger sign' of the baby girl "See, three lines, the hamburger sign. Girl." she said as she took a picture of it.

After the scan, we went to see Dr Ang. She was as amazed as we were "I'm very happy for you, even though it proves me wrong!" she said, looking at the scans. "Dr Ang, your machine must change already lah. Upgrade! Upgrade!" hubbs teased her. "Yah, think must upgrade already." she agreed.

Well, needless to say, we were ecstatic! Hahaha... It was perfect! To have a boy and a girl for twins is the best case scenario ever! Praise the Lord! hahaha... He has been having fun with us. But we're more than pleased. Now, everyday, I just pray that He blesses the twins with good health in everyway - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually!!!

Twins FAQ: How different is it from carrying one?

This is the other most frequently asked question, especially from people who have kids of their own (and hence have gone through a pregnancy of their own).

Well, compared to the time when I was pregnant with Isaac, I must say, in super short summary, the difference is:"Heavier lor." Hahahaha... (that answer is reserved for colleagues who pop this question when we walk past each other - in different directions!)

But seriously, I call this the "accelerated pregnancy" - I'm getting more and more pregnant at a faster rate, compared to when I was carrying one baby only. It's like, my tummy gets bigger faster - it's like even though hubbs and I see myself everyday - it looks to us everyday that my tummy is bigger than the day before. It doesn't seem to grow gradually, it seems to grow exponentially!

Also, I seem to have leaped from 1st trimester to the 3rd trimester! In the beginning, I was always sleepy, very characteristic of the 1st trimester. I had to take 10 - 15 minute naps during lunch to last me for the next half of the day.

When I entered 2nd trimester, I didn't have to take naps anymore. I had looked forward to the 2nd trimester, when it's traditionally 'easier', when pregnant women feel most alert, and full of energy. But *groan* I was wrong!

This time, my 2nd trimester felt like my 3rd trimester of when I had Isaac! I feel very heavy already, tummy huge, and all the symptoms of advanced pregnancy came at me full force! Bad back aches! Unable to find a comfortable sleeping position. I am simply getting all the advanced pregnancy symtoms earlier and in a more serious fashion. For example, carpal tunnel syndrome! During Isaac's time, this affected me to the extent that my hands would go numb. But now, my whole bloody arm, both arms! would go numb! Sighz. But well, at the moment, this only happens when I sleep at night. (my hands used to go numb during the day during Isaac's time) So I think, the worse is yet to come, when my arms would go numb during the day as well.

Now, at 25th week, I suppose I am considered to be in my 3rd trimester? My tummy is pretty big such that people ask me if I am to pop anytime soon. Colleagues who see me every other day all comment that my tummy looks like it's grown bigger again, even though they saw me not too long ago!

All in all, it's just more tiring than before, heavier... Don't know if its coz I am older now that when I was pregnant with Isaac, or that it's my second pregnancy, or whether it is coz I'm carrying two babies this time.

In any case, we're very blessed in order to have twins, so I don't want to complain too much. Just trying to enjoy the process and rejoice in this miracle of life! :) Oh and continue praying for His blessings that the twins are healthy in every way, and that we three can tahan all the way till 38 weeks at least! :) Pray for us! ;p

Twins FAQ: Both sides kicking?

Another frequently asked question is: Can you feel both sides kicking? Which twin kicks more?

Well, at the moment, the babies are too small for me to figure out which kick comes from which baby, and I'm not sure I'd be able to in future when I am more advance either (I'd tell you then).

The thing is, I feel kicks all around my stomach, just like I used to when it was just Isaac inside. Even then, albeit I knew that it was Isaac kicking - since he was the only one inside - but I did NOT know whether it was his hand or his feet kicking, or perhaps it was his head or bum butting out at me.

So I'm not sure I'd know this time, who it is kicking, and from which part of their anatomy either! :p I have heard of people who have felt kicks and look down to see a footprint or a handprint 'sticking out' of their tummy. Sounds incredulous to me though, coz I have never seen it or anything close to that before! :p

If you guys have any questions about being pregnant with twins, feel free to post it in comments or the cbox on the right. Will try my best to answer! :p

Pregnant with Twins FAQ - You have history?

Since it is relatively unusual to be pregnant with twins, I have had quite a lot of people asking me questions about being pregnant with twins. Let me share them with you! :)

The most common question asked by far, is, whether my husband or I have any family history of twins. Well, in fact, I do. My auntie (my mother's sister) has twins (the twins are my cousins). So then most people would comment that it must be because of that that I'm having twins.

According to my gynae, having a family history of twins does increase the chances of having twins (especially fraternal twins), but that the twins genes is usually passed down the "maternal line". In other words, it is more crucial for the mother's side of the family to have the twins genes, rather than the father side - coz it is passed down the mother's side.

However, reading about twins online, has turned up a fact which I found fascinating. Wikipedia has an informative article on twins which is not too long and overly scientific . In it, it is mentioned that the likelihood of a single fertilisation resulting in mono-zygotic (identical) twins appears to be a random event, not a hereditary trait, an anomaly that occurs in birthing at a rate of about three in every 1000 deliveries worldwide. Go read the article for more details on facts about twinning!

I confess! I'm pregnant!!!

Oh alright! I confess, I'm not just fat, I'm pregnant too!!! Due on 28 Jan 2010 :)

Hahahahaa... Finally I have a reason to be fat! kekeke... though frankly, I am hoping not to put on too much weight, since I hadn't shed everything from the first round with Isaac.

We have actually been planning to have our 2nd one for a very long time, but then, we have been trying to try for a long time. What? hahaha... well... it's not easy to TRY when Isaac was still breastfeeding not too long ago, so, everytime we get up to anything, we're invariable interrupted by the lil bugger. Also by the time we get him to sleep, we're tired too! So we sleep too... hahaha..

So anywayz, after much delay, and much hinting from my mother-in-law (who was frankly getting quite worried and wondering if she'd be having more than one grandkid at all from us) and some light hinting from my mum (light - in the sense that she wasn't hinting us as 'urgently' as she was before Isaac was conceived)... we finally conceived! phew!

Dr Ang, our nice gynae whom we adore, told us to use ovulation sticks this time round. She didn't ask us to use them when we conceived Isaac, and we didn't question why she asked us to use them this time round either. But some months later - after months of trying to try - we're glad she asked us to use ovulation sticks - so that we know WHEN to do it! hahahaa... Really useful so that we weren't literally shooting in the dark *snigger*snigger*...

So not too long after we managed to try on THE date as indicated by the ovulation shtick - we conceived! wooohooo!!! confetti!!! We eagerly bought pregnancy test kit to test, and positive it was, yay!!!

By our calculation (see, we experts now, after having one Isaac) we were about 4 weeks plus at the time we tested positive - so we decided to wait. Coz if you see the gynae too early, the baby is too tiny to be seen on the scan, and we'd have wasted money going to the gynae. So... kekeke... we got our appointment on Week 7.

Here's our first scan, at 7 weeks! Yay!!! Got sound (heartbeat) got picture (pls see scan below) = we're pregnant for sure!!! kekeke... "Congrats! You're pregnant!" said Dr Ang. The very next day after the gynae visit, we flew off to Perth for our June 2009 trip :)

Four weeks later, we happily went for our 2nd gynae visit... We always enjoyed gynae visits. Firstly, we can see our baby through the monitor. Secondly, we can take snapshots of the scan of the baby home for keepsakes (and to show to my parents and parents in law). Thirdly, we get to kar cheow our gynae Dr Ang, whom we enjoy joking with and talking to.

I was on the gurney; Dr Ang had just applied the gel stuff on my tummy and was using the scanner to scan my tummy (hubbs was distracted by Isaac) when Dr Ang exclaimed:" Pamela!!!" I was alarmed:"Huh?! What what?! what happened?!" Then she said:"Look!" as we all turned to look at the screen... "You're having TWINS!!!"

It was hilarious! Hubbs and I were stunned for the moment, then I started laughing, causing the gurney to shake pretty violently. Hubbs was stunned a split second longer, and then he was smiling widely from ear to ear, staring at the screen. We both were. It was amazing.

Even to the untrained, albeit one-timed experienced us, we could see that there were obviously 2 babies on the screen. You could see two distinct "bags" - which was the amniotic sac - that had a baby in each. At 11 weeks, it was already evident that they were babies, as in, you could already make out the head and the body etc.

But it was almost unbelieveable! We only had 1 baby four weeks ago! Now, there's another 1?! We were still so stunned that we hardly asked any questions coz the questions just did not occur to us at that point in time! We were just simply stunned and overjoyed with this miracle of life!

Dr Ang pointed out that she could only see one placenta, and hence that meant that the twins were Identical Twins - as one placenta implied that it was one fertilised egg that split into two. Identical twins meant that we would get either 2 girls, or 2 boys.

To answer the many variations of questions that I've had fielded to me...

You can't get one boy & one girl from identical twins coz it's split from one fertilised egg - the fertilised egg already has a gender when it is fertilised, and it won't change gender after it's split. One boy one girl twins are Fraternal Twins - which means they come from two different fertilised eggs, and hence is possibly of a different gender from each other. Each egg would then have their own placenta.

Fraternal twins, who come from different fertilised eggs, are nevertheless brother and sister (or bro & bro, or sis & sis), and so it is possible that they would still look very alike, very similar - but that does not make them "Identical Twins". Afterall, you may be born 3 years apart from your sibling, but you could look very similar/alike, right? The first question that I asked Dr Ang when I finally stopped laughing, was: "They have completely SPLIT, right???" Having twins was great, but having Siamese twins was not funny at all. But thankfully she replied:"Yes yes, completely split already - you see..." as she pointed to the screen. Yes, it was very obvious that the twins were separated and in their own amniotic sac. Dr Ang says it's good that they each have their own sac, that it's safer that way.

The babies also look like they're both of about the same size. Which is good, since I've heard of how one can be so much smaller that it can't survive and might die off. So I was very glad to see that they were both approximately the same size.

We also did their neckfold thickness test on the 11th week checkup, as we were scheduled to do so. Thankfully, both babies passed the test too. This was to test for down syndrome.

On 14th August 2009 (Happy Birthday, Joel!!!), we had our 3rd gynae visit, at 16th Week. We were very excited to have this gynae visit so that we could ask Dr Ang our questions, and also, this was the week when she said we'd be able to find out the gender of the twins! Our friends were almost equally split in guessing whether it was 2 boys or 2 girls.

Hubbs and I spoke about it before the visit, and we both agreed that we'd be happy whether it was 2 boys or 2 girls. 2 boys would be a bit tougher on us since boys are more active, and usually more difficult to take care as compared to girls. But we thought it'd be nice for Isaac to have 2 brothers to play rough with.

2 girls would be sweet, and a nice addition since we already have a boy. Also, hubbs would be pleased to have 2 princesses. The girls would also have no lack of clothes and stuff since my sister could pass me my nieces stuff. But most of all, 2 girls should be easier to handle, which would be good since having 2 at a time would certainly make us very busy!

So guess what?! Think God heard my prayers to give us what he thought we could handle - so he blessed us with 2 girls! :) Well, actually, Dr Ang only saw the gender of one baby (see below) - but then, since they're supposed to be identical twins, so, it is deduced to be 2 girls :p
On this visit, I had my blood drawn for the blood test, which was to test for a whole assortment of stuff. A week later, Dr Ang called me to say that my blood test results are alright - not as good as they were for Isaac's pregnancy, but still okay. Though she did caveat to say that blood test results would not be as accurate now, since I was having twins, but nevertheless, they were a pretty good indicator and it was good that my results were okay.

She did mention though, that even though my iron levels were alright, they were not as good compared to the time when I had Isaac. She said it's normal since I was having twins, and so the twins were drawing whatever iron they needed from me. Thus, she said I should eat more red meat, and stuff rich in iron such as broccolli and spinach.

So it seems... that all is alright :) I have been rather worried, coz when I read up about twins online, it seems like there are a lot of things that can go wrong, and that its considered a high risk pregnancy etc... quite scary! But as Clarine (my colleague who's a mother of twins ;p ) advised me, she said that I shouldn't read and scare myself, and should just pray that everything is alright! :) And so I will! :) Haha!!!